Saturday, January 02, 2010

From the Mill to the Mall



The main reason for all this obsessive city-cataloguing, this rewriting and rewriting of the same piece - other than certain writing commitments combined with residual guilt from endlessly complaining about the place's provincialism despite my (and almost all my former Southampton friends) contributing to this in our small way, by fucking off to London or even further at the earliest opportunity - is that Southampton presents itself as a puzzle. Every time I go there the question 'how did this happen?' presents itself. How did this city, which by all accounts was once the undisputed regional capital (a perusal of The Buildings of England's extremely complimentary 1966 entry on the city is instructive here) get to the point where an entire stretch of its centre, as large as a small town, was given over to a gigantic retail park? How is it that the 16th largest city in the country has the 3rd highest level of violent crime and the 3rd worst exam results, despite being central to one of the most affluent counties? And does any of this have anything to do with the fact that the city contains what was, when built, the largest urban mall in Britain?



In simple terms of policy, these questions are easy enough to answer, and were extensively discussed by George Monbiot in Captive State. A large industrial site on reclaimed land became 'open for development' in the 1990s. The Labour council decided to designate it as a retail area at the same time as the rival inner-city retail centre of St Mary's was 'regenerated' out of recognition, its shops demolished and its market torn down. As the site was previously merely industrial, it was clearly of little aesthetic worth - the precedent meant that anything could be built there, it didn't have to have any particular urban qualities, as the Cable Works certainly didn't have to. Happily enough, the site was already easily accessed from the M27, so the result is that the extremely affluent surrounding areas can get into the shopping malls easily and quickly, where they will find abundant parking space. Jobs For Local People are no doubt the eventual result, and the alibi for the extremely profitable land deals. The result is a city devoid of any real civic pride, with a series of chain pubs where shops used to be, competing for cheap pints. I know how and why this all happened, but there's more to this city, elements to it which suggest different things could have happened, could still do so. The following walk tries, following the first, to cleave to the waterfront as much as is possible - i.e, not much - to try and ascertain what the presence of an almost-hidden but enormously successful container port does to the city centre itself.


1. Sheds, Bombsites, Ships
Leaving Southampton Central Station on its southern entrance, you can see the containers already, next to the grimy sheds of the Mountbatten Retail Park. The most immediately noticeable urban artefacts are the hotels. Hotels are, in my experience, the most reliably awful examples of British architecture built in the last 30 years, closely followed by the similar typology of Halls of Residence. Is this to do with some kind of national aversion to the concept of hospitality? Do their developers worry that architecture might deter custom? Or are they just unbelievably tight-fisted? This particular cluster of hotels was lucky enough to receive a specific denunciation from Bad British Architecture - a Novotel and an Ibis, similarly blockily lumpen, aptly described by the Ghost of Nairn as 'simply incompetent building, let alone design'. Its astounding crapness makes you wonder if there is a deliberate policy of discouraging cruise passengers from actually staying in the city. Across the road from them a Police Operational Command Unit is being erected, to designs by multinational giants of shit Broadway Malyan.


The site currently consists of a concrete frame and some brickwork, presumably to be In Keeping with some numinous vernacular. There's an onsite Christmas tree. This seasonal jollity is not continued by the police advertisements outside the station itself, which are all, rather staggeringly, about knives and knife crime, presenting those driving in from the M27 with another reason to avoid venturing any further than the malls.


The major dockside building is the Solent Flour Mills, which is remarkably enough still working, and there have been no proposals to my knowledge to turn it into a lottery-funded art gallery. It's absolutely huge, and of course inaccessible to the public. The Dock Gates were built around the same time in the early 1930s. The clocks have all had their hands removed.


The most salient thing about industrial architecture after Fordism is the changeover from an architecture of light to an architecture of windowless enclosure. The Solent Mills are a fine example of a Fordist 'daylight factory', notable as much for the expanses of glass as for the expanses of brick. Conversely, post-Fordist industry (as there is such a thing - the presumption that post-Fordist automatically equals post-industrial is seldom correct) is marked by sheds without glass, where the ideology of transparency is transferred to financial capital and their shiny office blocks. The de-industrialisation of Southampton (which happens in train with the intensified automation of the container port) means that there are few windowless industrial sheds in the centre of town, but there are windowless Leisure sheds.


Leisure World, as I was informed by Mr Rabbie, is a 'bizarrely adaptive reuse' of a former automated warehouse, which became in the late 90s a gigantic shed of entertainment. Note the Casino, one of several in the centre, presumably intended for the cruise passengers. The carpark of Leisure World is one of the few places where you can see certain things - the cyclopean scale of the Flour Mills, for one, and for another, the pathetic tin canopy of the City Cruise Terminal. I spent much time walking round said car park with my camera, where I saw among other things that the nightclubs - formerly Ikon and Diva - are now called Icehouse and Disco New York, perhaps as some partial memory of the thousands of New Yorkers who passed through this city in the first half of the last century. Sadly I can't show you pictures of any of these things. As I take a photograph of the wavy roof of Ikea from behind the Leisure Container, a voice from behind me says 'what do you think you're doing?' I explain that I'm a journalist (and restrain myself from informing him that I'm conducting a peripatetic investigation of the Problem of Southampton, which is what I am in fact doing) and get out my Press Pass, which says on the back that the Police Federation recognises me as a 'bona fide news gatherer'. 'That's nice', he says when I get out the NUJ card. 'But have you got permission?' 'What, to take photos in a carpark?' 'This is private property. You have to have permission.' He then makes me delete the photographs I took in the car park from the digital camera, one by one, before I am allowed out. I take one last photo before I step out of the car park onto the 'street', which you can see above.


There is no street here. This whole gigantic site is designed solely for the car, so my being a pedestrian is already suspicious, impeccably white and well-spoken as I may be. There are two recent buildings as part of this spreading mass of shed, one for Ikea, which includes - oh yes - some public art on the wooden spirals of its car park; and another for cruise operator Carnival, which, with its high-tech cribbings, is almost a work of architecture, although not a work of urban architecture - it's a business park building that is, somehow, literally yards from a medieval walled town.



Similarly un-shed-like is the 1994 De Vere Grand Harbour Hotel ('the Brunswick Centre with a glass pyramid fucked into it', cherchez le ghost). I've long found this a risible, ridiculous building, but somehow in the context of blank, deathly sheds it seems to have at least some ambition, some statement of place and clumsy grandeur - and surely better a failed, absurd grandiosity than the utterly grim utiltarianism of the other city hotels (and behind the De Vere, you can see Eric Lyons' Castle House tower block being reclad with green glass and UPVC, something I hoped I would never see but am unsurprised to do so - it must be made to look as cheap as everything else). I'm walking past it to get to Mayflower Park, the only place in the whole city where something resembling an uninterrupted view of the harbour is available to the pedestrian.


I've written about the incinerator before. I like it very much. The symmetry of the two ships next to their island cranes is similarly poignant. The park itself is, as ever, beautifully desolate, and enlivened by City Architect Leon Berger's quietly fantastic Taliesin shelters. This was, pre-crash, the mooted location for The Spitfire Wing, a potential carrier of what the local paper, the Echo, calls 'the wow factor', the *iconic*, monumental landmark building the city apparently lacks, spurred by its increasingly desperate attempts to compete with, of all things, Portsmouth's Spinnaker Tower. An article in the same paper a year or so ago claimed that this has been replaced with the 'woe factor', as almost all the new projects that had been announced or had received planning permission were cancelled or shelved. Since then, a couple are limping their way to completion, which presumably represents 'green shoots'. In response to all this, Tory council leader Royston Smith commented 'Southampton's golden age will just have to be put back a couple of years'.


The Isle of Wight ferries depart from here, and were the focus of sympathy action with the Vestas Wind Turbine Occupation last year, a reminder that the city is not as dead as it may appear. The Red Funnel Ferry promises a 'wight christmas'. The wonderfully silly Edwardian dock building adjacent is now Maxim's Casino.


New Southampton looks much the same as New Everywhere Else, with the proviso that it took them a little while longer to cotton onto the psuedomodernist turn, so pitched roofs and 'decorative' banded brickwork continued here for longer than other cities. This includes the 'French Quarter' (Southampton is lucky enough to have only one 'Quarter', though a Cultural Quarter has been promised for some time), which contains a 'Property Cafe'. Near to all this is an earlier attempt to design a new city district from half-a-century ago, the Holy Rood council estate, designed to replace a bombed slum.


Designed by Lyons Israel Ellis, a finishing school for Brutalists from the Smithsons to Stirling and Neave Brown, in the 1950s, Holy Rood has always seemed the poor relation to their masterpiece, Wyndham Court - a much more straightforward scattering of low and medium-rise modernist blocks, using the soft-Brutalist vernacular of stock-brick and concrete. The interesting things about it come from the layout rather than the aesthetic, which is powerful and robust but not especially tectonically exciting. You pass under buildings, through courtyards and gardens. You can't drink there, though. At one end, a piece of public art manages to be actually quite good, providing a signpost for the place which doesn't make it look institutional, without going for the usual alternative of being brightly patronising.


On one side the estate is faced by complimentary blocks by Leon Berger, and on the other by the pallid mild-modernism of the Debenhams Department Store. It's a fairly unimpressive way to rebuild a bomb-devastated city compared to, say, Sheffield, Rotterdam or Le Havre, but to see exactly what makes it so worthwhile you need to see what comes next.


It uses almost exactly the same materials and components - brick, glass, orthogonal geometry, balconies, a flat roof - but is so mean and inept that it makes the surrounding 1950s buildings look like remnants from a great, lost civilisation by comparison. Apologies for the appalling quality of the photograph, but it didn't deserve much better.


The effects of aerial warfare are visible on practically every corner if you look hard enough, but Holy Rood Church is the most eloquent statement of it - a bombed-out church which was left in its ruined state as a memorial, specifically to the Merchant Navy. It has become a generalised memorial space, so there's a plaque dedicated to the Falklands War (grotesquely putting this nasty squabble on the same level as the fight against Nazi Germany), and an earlier memorial to the Titanic. The oral history here is being enjoyed by my sister Frances.


2. Ocean Village Idiot


Not far from here is the South Western Hotel, whose Americanist 1920s extension I have already raved about here. Its environs are one of the few places where you can get some idea of what the first skyscrapers might have been like, in that the two-storey surroundings are dominated by something four times their height, but nothing has really attempted to follow it in the immediate area (save some abysmal halls of residence), so it suggests an imminent take-off, frozen in time. More to the point, I have become accustomed to not looking at the bad things in this part of town, because here they are almost outnumbered by good things. If the Terminus Station were reopened, then the city's centre of gravity would be shifted from a gigantic retail park to a disparate, complex city, near to the estates of Northam, St Mary and Holy Rood, the (small but quite lovely) walled town, and some attempts at civic architecture courtesy of Cunard, White Star and the South-Western Railway. The station is now a casino.


The train shed is a car park, and though some of the station's service buildings survive, the aforementioned Halls of Residence would have to be demolished before the station could be rebuilt. Which would be a tragedy, I know.


Before getting back to the point, here are two urbanist jokes for light relief. One, Crescent Apartments, yuppiedromes left unfinished after the crash. The other, a pub stuck inbetween random light industry.




Near here is the original, Eastern Dock, the one from which the Titanic (and all the others) sailed, the place where Cunard and White Star moved their offices from Liverpool, in order, no doubt, to be closer to London (recently Liverpool has been threatening a belated revenge, and who can blame them). This was transformed in the 1980s into 'Ocean Village', a combined marina, business park and leisure complex. The name itself implies what was supposed to happen to this area of the city. I tend to think that a place which builds something like the South Western Hotel, Wyndham Court, or even that Civic Centre Gavin Stamp likes so much, is not a village, nor even a Town, but a City. Evidently the City Council disagreed. The deco Ocean Terminal was flattened to build Ocean Village, and the most recent building here is a car park in neo-deco style, as if in some kind of act of repentance.



Surrounding it are the local bank HQs, all designed in a business park style that is a fine reminder of why the late 70s-90s are currently as loathed by architectural fashion as much as the 40s-60s were beforehand, aside from a mere changing of the guard. What is so depressing about this place is the way that the formal return of decoration, vernacular etc is paralleled by an alienating, anti-pedestrian, motorcity approach to planning that is inherited from modernism's worst aspects – this is basically a series of surface car parks with buildings inbetween, rather than vice versa, and all the jollity, the stained glass, the patterns and the pediments appear as pathetic attempts to distract the driver or pedestrian from the alienating newness of the landscape.


I do have some good memories of this place in its form as a leisure complex, I'll admit, and I find the postmodernism of spectacle and gee-gaws somewhat preferable – the Trocadero over New Urbanism. The sole surviving dock building here used to lead into 'Canute's Pavilion', a mirror-glass mall which featured such joys as a 'humorous' T-shirt shop, Edwardian arcade games and ice cream parlours. It also had a shop which sold nautical tat of various sorts, including a piece of coral onto which I fell as a child, gashing my arm in the process. After only around 15 years of existence, Canute's Pavilion was demolished a few years ago for what is one of the few attempts here at the Urban Renaissance jive.


Two blocks, restaurants on the ground floor, three more shelved by the recession but masked by the ads, big meaningless bit of Public Art in the middle, and preservation of the disused public transport tracks as ornaments.


Norman Bates just out of shot.


But, as stated, at least it doesn't look like this, the earlier architecture of the 'marina'...


The pornography of property is plastered across the building site, but as ever the enduring question is – what sort of luxury is this, which seems predicated on the occupants of the flats being so permanently exhausted by their work that they need be so infantilised, that they need to relax and be indulged in these secluded, ostentatiously calm places? Not to mention the question what sort of luxury involves such minuscule proportions and such mean materials. Yet compared with the woeful vernacular architecture of the rest of the marina I have to admit to a thankfulness that this at least resembles city architecture, and admit to preferring that central Southampton resemble aspirational, yuppified Leeds or Manchester than upper-crust Havant, or Bursledon - one of the few ways in which Blairism is marginally, slightly, if almost imperceptibly, preferable to its more straightforward precursor, Thatcherism. There is, though, no sense here of the freedoms of a city, and the marketing - based on exclusivity and seclusion - implies that these are, as Meades claims, suburbs in the guise of inner cities. That even this won't stick in somewhere as doggedly suburban as south-east England is indicated by the unfinished nature of this already cheap project. Southampton's hold on urbanity is light, indefinite. It is liable to crumble at a touch.


Somehow in the middle of all this there is the Harbour Lights Cinema, and I never cease to marvel at how incongruously fine it is, how generous and clever a building, and how - unlike everything else here - it can be looked at more than once. New things can be found in it. Like everything else of worth it was ritually attacked by the local press, and there's no doubt that hardly anybody from the estates ever goes here (well, me and my sister do, but we don't count) but I'd be far more upset to see this go than I was when Canute's Pavilion was knocked down.

3. WestQuay


This is all really just leading up to BDP's enormous WestQuay mega-mall, the main occupant of the former Pirelli site. I've previously gingerly avoided it, settling for the odd one-line dismissal of the place. I don't like it, obviously, but the language that is used to attack it is remarkably similar to that which is used to attack some of the architecture I love. It's out of scale, it's too monumental, it's fortress-like, it's Not In Keeping, it leads to abrupt and shocking contrasts, it's too clean and too shiny...well, yes. Look at it here, where it bridges the street, next to a line of Regency Terraces, and note the arch contempt for that which precedes it, and the paltry way in which it attempts to 'respond' to the terrace through an industrial, lightly brick-clad wall, with storage ever so slightly legible as its function.


Similarly, remembering that the shopping mall's suppressed dreamlife, from Victor Gruen to Walter Benjamin - if being especially whimsical, we could even mention BDP's own socialist past - is an attempt to recreate social spaces, to become a social condenser in the service of consumer capitalism. If we condemn the malls without being quite careful about how we do so, we line up with the likes of Paul Kingsnorth, those who care more about the destruction of small shops than the destruction of the human race.


I still hate it. Some of my friends helped build it, you know. Indulging in a bit of manual labour to save up money for their gap years. This irritated me, these middle class kids doing working class jobs which I had made damn sure I would never have to do myself. They cut their hair and acquired a sudden interest in football, while I grew mine and became ever less interested in Saints' decline. The first time I ever went to WestQuay I was shocked by it, not least because of the fact it coincided with the destruction of St Mary's Street - and I found in their Waterstone's a copy of the Monbiot book which has a chapter on this very topic. I read the entire chapter in there as a minor, piffling protest. Last week when there I bumped into an old friend, which happens very seldom in Southampton (because they all left around the same time I did). Minutes later I found this on the shelves, in the Philosophy section.


I don't know if I would have bragged about it or not if I had known when I spoke to her. Probably. Last time I spoke to this person she asked if I still lived on the Flower Estate, where she once stayed on an excursion from (relatively!) genteel Portswood. Briefly continuing in this self-dramatising vein, the following walkway has a walk-on part in the first chapter of the book above.


Before WestQuay there was Colonel Seifert's Arundel Towers - two office blocks surmounting a car park, a slide of which I have been known to use as illustration in discussion of the destruction of modernism in Britain. I remember it, faintly, the strangeness and intrigue of its multiple levels and the Dog and Duck pub more than the twin towers. The break with Arundel Towers' approach to urbanism was hardly total. In terms of how it interacts with the landscape, WestQuay is in fact strikingly like some of my favourite post-war buildings - especially Castle Market or the Epic Building in Sheffield - in that it incorporates a deep slope, multiple levels and entry points, and two major walkways bridging the roads that the developers couldn't obliterate - but unlike those, there's no pleasure for the walker in traversing all these different ways of getting from A to B. This isn't merely because the earlier buildings are picturesquely lived-in and dilapidated, but because they aren't seamless, you feel the movement from one place to another, you are able to enjoy it in some manner, and the spaces contain places where you could stop and think, rather than be induced to consume at every possible moment.


But WestQuay is a remarkably complex building, including within itself a deceptively small street façade to Above Bar, the high street it destroyed, a glazed viewing area as part of the 'food court', a Mendelsohnian, curved John Lewis store, and inside what the mall's website describes as a 'focal point', a descendant of Gruen's 'social' spaces, where the lifts and escalators are all clustered, giving a frictionless impression of constant movement. The gestures at contextualism are present, correct, and pathetic - at the end which faces the Medieval Walls, the architects have given it a complimentary and functionless watchtower, and the shiny, plasticky cladding is infilled with rubble to be In Keeping (something which was also employed by Leon Berger in his tower blocks at St Mary's and Shirley). This rubble is mostly at ground-floor level, where it is part of sloping walls, thick enough to withstand a blast or a ramraid. It has a symbolic function quite aside from the pomo 'reference' to the medieval wall - to deter anyone who ought not to be here.


What makes it particularly malign is what happens at the back. Behind the walls and behind Above Bar are the service spaces of West Quay, and they take up a massive amount of urban space, made up mostly of multistorey car parks, but also of the series of retail parks that accompanied the main mall - three of them, all themselves with attendant massive car parks. Needless to say, this is not a nice place to walk if you are a pedestrian. The entire area - there might be a mile of this stuff or more - is simply not for walking in, and although this might be expected on the Kentish hinterland of the M25, it bears repeating that this is right in the centre of a city. This is part of its justification: it keeps people in the city. But the economy is exactly the same as that of an out-of-town mall - reached by car, actively discouraging leaving the malls and venturing into the city around, uninterested in the possibilities of the city itself, and leaving the other side of town, the side of it that is not shopping mall, to rot. One upshot of this is the weekend's ultraviolence along Above Bar, another is the continuing disintegration of St Mary's. But service industry jobs were indeed duly created.


WestQuay does make an effort in certain respects, and this effort makes it all the more tragic. You can promenade around it, as you can along the city walls. Yet there's a spectacular incoherence to it all - each part seems disconnected to the other, aside from the wipe-clean white cladding - it's never pulled together through any design idea of any sort because it's simply impossible to do so. You simply can't make a building as complex as this into something legible unless the architect is exceptionally talented and/or conscientious (apologies to all at BDP for the implication that they may be neither). We can see here once again how over the last decade a Modernism of a sort has continued, not as a coherent ideology, an aesthetic or a formal language which embraces and intensifies the experience of modernity, but via the element of it lamented by urbanists and sentimentalists since the 1920s - the war on the pedestrian. This is a landscape where the car is dominant, where the idea of streets, of walking, of an element of surprise, are comprehensively designed out. Conversely, the only way to rediscover some kind of element of excitement in these spaces is to walk around (not inside) them, precisely because the planning itself does not want you to. You see things. You don't see people, but you see intriguing things, some sort of autonomous logic of commerce almost without leavening or prettification (I say almost, as some of the car parks are made of brick, as that's the vernacular of some language or other). Like the container port, this is 'the exposed nerve cables of capital', an inhuman space where it no longer needs to present a human face.

29 Comments:

Blogger Will said...

Quick note - the De Vere Grand Hotel, which is truly horrible, resembles the Clifford Chance offices on Aldersgate Street more than the Brunswick Centre:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3449/3380753694_08aba7cfa6.jpg?v=0

Or the vile Britannia Hotel in Docklands.

2:54 am  
Blogger Lang Rabbie said...

A very good bit of writing, Owen.

Taut, fiercely argued and not too sentimental.

12:21 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

'If we condemn the malls without being quite careful about how we do so, we line up with the likes of Paul Kingsnorth, those who care more about the destruction of small shops than the destruction of the human race.'

Not that I don't like being childishly smeared on blogs by 'militant modernists', you understand (particularly those who apparently haven't read my books) but I would just point out that it's tricky to keep small shops running without some humans to both run them and shop in them.

Keep up the good work, then.

2:30 pm  
Blogger owen hatherley said...

The things you find on Google alerts, eh? OK, I exaggerate - a considerably reduced human race.

3:41 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

The Dark Mountain Project has nothing whatsoever to do with promoting or celebrating a 'considerably reduced human race.' Either you haven't read the manifesto properly, in which case you shouldn't be commenting on it - or you have read it properly and are deliberately misrepresenting it, in which case ... well.

I have no idea which option applies in your case, but since the same form of cheap misrepresentation has been applied to my views on 'malls' as well, there does seem to be an observable pattern. Which is surprising from a modernist.

And if you don't like being picked up on your inaccuracies, I suggest you don't write them down.

4:19 pm  
Blogger owen hatherley said...

an observable pattern. Which is surprising from a modernist.

Boom-tish!

The Dark Mountain Manifesto is a fine piece of writing in its vaguely Ernst Juenger-ish manner, but I'm sure you yourself would agree it intends to 'reduce' the human race, to puncture it, to provide a non-human perspective on its failings. However I was also referring to the fact that (in an argument I'm quite sure you've heard before) 'uncivilisation', the propounded end of industrial society, would have the result of reducing the human race in number, through the lack of food, medication, heating and other such industrial verities that would ensue. I don't see why you respond to this accusation with such surprise, as I'm not the first to have made it.

Meanwhile my disagreement with your views on shops, malls and so forth as propounded in Real England and elsewhere is, roughly speaking, that I'm not especially bothered about the demise of small businesses. I like a good odd shop as much as anyone else, but I find their gradual demise to be one of the less worrying tendencies of the 21st century, all things considered. Similarly, I find it peculiar that someone would be so sentimental about small-time commerce and Old England, and yet so unsentimental about industrial civilisation, which has lifted millions of out of age-old idiocy and poverty. I don't expect you to agree, but I don't see how I'm misrepresenting you either.

4:47 pm  
Blogger agata pyzik said...

This book on the shelf really looks like someone put it there in an act of a spontaneous Soton detournement - and maybe someone really did? I mean, it really looks acutely out of place. But obviously, as a whole, it's a nice story in literary terms. good piece.

9:10 pm  
Blogger Matthew said...

Owen, did you win? Did the bad man go away?

10:05 pm  
Blogger SteveL said...

Interesting that the new urban-housing-vendors use similar artwork to those in Bristol, ones that imply that the new-inner-cities will be enjoyed by white people only.

10:11 pm  
Blogger Earle Martin said...

He then makes me delete the photographs I took in the car park from the digital camera, one by one, before I am allowed out.

Unless he's a police officer, to my knowledge, he does not have the legal authority to prevent you from leaving the premises. Perhaps someone more versed in law than I am could comment.

12:48 am  
Anonymous Dean Millvina said...

What a marvellous piece, and a superb blog overall. I'm grateful to Warren Ellis for providing the link.

I have just managed to leave Southampton, after studying there for four years and working in nearby Eastleigh (will read your Eastleigh post shortly - am writing a novel set there). You have managed to articulate my feelings about the place, and in a very informative way. I regret not doing more of my own research into the city's architecture and history while I was there.

Over the five years, I lived in Glen Eyre (one of the nicer halls of residence), Portswood and "Old" Basset. I did have the pleasure of living near the Common for the last three years, one of Southampton's few highlights.

After my first couple of months at the University, I decided to write a poem about the city, inspired (read: poorly plagiarised) by Betjeman's Slough. None of my fellow students seemed to share my disaffection for the place, and consequently didn't really appreciate the poem. Here it is:

Ode to the City of Southampton and its fair denizens

A familiar stench hangs in the air
Breathe it in; fatigued despair
This settlement's beyond repair
Who cares?

The people waste the air they breathe
They're an ill-bred west-country breed
And upon tonnes of greasy meat
They feed.

Their lumbering ungainly gait
Struggles to cope with such a weight
Jogging bottoms that bear the strain
Are craved.

These locals they so proudly sport
Their hard-earned jowls and comely paunch
Full-fat waists which chubby legs support
They flaunt.

A lively place with lots to do
Please click here for the latest news
On buses
And mini-skirts provide the views
On a Friday night, while in a queue.
With hussies.

And watching a townsfolk so enthralled
By a US imitation shopping mall
With many bland brands through which to trawl
I call:
"This town's dead and long since died
Rank with impending suicide
As a sprawling and malignant cyst
Is how Southampton does exist."

***

Ok, so the meter's out of whack and some of the rhymes are a bit dodgy, but you get the point.

Thanks

12:17 pm  
Blogger Von Graff said...

Hi there, found you on came across your work on flickr and led me to this, your photography is brilliant. I am currently looking for a photographer to work with, I'm a design student doing my final major project on brutalist architecture and wondered if you would be interested in donating some photos of brutalist buildings for the book i will produce, of course i will credit you in it and funds given get you a copy as it will be a one off piece also any design services you should ever need i'm sure i could help out. let me know what you think by leaving a comment on my blog or contacting me through it, its

vongraff-creative.blogspot.com

cheers, Rob

12:09 pm  
Anonymous Rossikovsky said...

A good, if understandably depressing piece Owen. On the brighter side, some of the photos are really (really) good.

One quibble - I actually think that the Falklands War was a far more honest war against Fascism than WWII (because we didn't have to cuddle up to an obvious butcher) - even if Thatcher was in charge.

2:30 am  
Anonymous SEOリンク said...

This is a good piece of work. Owen.

6:18 am  
Blogger Charles Frith said...

Truly this is the only writing on Southampton that I find evokes anything like a mix of nostalgia and social commentary that I can bear.

This is the highest of compliments I can give for a city I find is almost deleted through neglect of memories. Great writing and comprehensive observation of a ton of stuff I've seen but never noticed from my home town.

2:27 pm  
Anonymous James said...

You should write something along the lines of this about Leicester; the mall "HighCrossLeicEsTer" (or something with equally ridiculous punctuation) has drained the life out of the city, Beaumonts Leys is an entire suburb focused around a retail park, to whom the main draws are Tesco and Brantano.
Knighton Fields however is beautiful, as is the city centre provided you steer clear of the miles and miles (literally miles) of abandoned hosiery factories. The Old Leicester Train Station (along with the current one, in all fairness) is beautiful but has since become a garage, another terminus for the GCR is now the location of a caravan dealer. There's loads you can say about architecture in Leicester. (Plus it'd entertain me!)

8:24 am  
Blogger Paul said...

I left Southampton nearly 40 years ago and the whole Dock area is so lacking in soul these days.In addition the dirt,litter and weeds are quite noticeable compared to Nottingham where I've lived for nearly 40 years.
That said ,I still feel a love for the city.

9:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice blog, I had never heard about this but my grandpa who is always looking for Viagra Online told me about this, and it's cool.
Cheap Viagra Generic Viagra

9:09 pm  
Blogger DiSCo said...

Thank you for sharing a nice article.
seslisohbet

5:03 pm  
Blogger boy said...

Hey I absolutely love this write-up and it was so nice so I am surely going to tweet it. I Have to say the Indepth research this article has is greatly extraordinary !!! Who goes that extra mile now days? Well Done !
Naples Hotels

10:40 am  
Blogger Allen Smith said...

Hi admin - That is surely the wonderful looking for weblog I've seen. It had been totally simple to grasp and it had
erectile dysfunction treatment been simple to look with the knowledge which i wanted. Wonderful web design and helpful content material!

1:28 am  
Anonymous Baby ear infection said...

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. Raw food diet Toenail fungus infection Health benefits of almonds Top fertility foods Common digestive disorders Common digestive system diseases and disorders Migraine headache Hard stool treatment Prevent candida yeast infection Cure ear infection Natural laxative foods Health benefits of papaya Wart Removal Health benefits of salt Dry skin patches Smooth and glowing skin Health benefits of almonds Remedies for sinus headache

7:58 pm  
Anonymous order viagra online said...

Great post. I think one of the basic things that we should know know is that we must always make sure that you are safe in every transactions you wanted to indulge with.

6:08 am  
Blogger John Anderson said...

It's an interesting approach. Generic Paxil commonly see unexceptional views on the subject but yours it's written in a pretty unusual fashion. Surely, Generic Ultracet will revisit your website for additional info.

7:07 am  
Blogger ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

2:28 am  
Blogger Hair Transplant in turkey said...

Thanks for the information. I really enjoyed, I would like get more
information about this,because is very beautiful, thanks for sharing
saç ekim doktoru

10:35 am  
Blogger Fuzz said...

Nice article. Out of interest did you visit the Art House Cafe near the Library? It's a bit of a rarity, an independent cafe with a unique identity in the sea of commercial sadness and dross that's become synonymous with Southampton

11:16 am  
Blogger Uzumaki Naruto said...

Good Article, beli souvenir resepsi perkawinan. thanks for your article. :)

12:21 pm  
Blogger Uzumaki Naruto said...

Good Article, shika-lirik-nasyid.blogspot.com. thanks for your article. :)

7:12 am  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home